Why do i still think about my ex everyday reddit

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They don't reach out to not hinder your happiness. Yep totally normal especially at first. Maybe have a casual fling or two. Apart of them remains with you forever. It doesn't happen as often as it did early on. Be grateful for your life. I was tan, fresh haircut and wearing a low cut top. Regardless of your decision to stay in your relationship or to go, we are here to support you It's normal to have these feelings and thoughts from time to time. That is the recipe. If they miss us, or completely forgot about us. And if it's not, make it so! Source: username. Having to see my ex everyday! I work for the same company with my ex. Dont get me wrong, i would never get back together with him. I have been with my husband for more than 10 years now. No, it’s not going to take you six months to replace those thoughts but after defaulting to thinking and obsessing about this person morning, noon and night and building associations around that, it’s what your mind now thinks you’re supposed to do. Nearly three months and still think about my ex everyday. We were married for 16 years. TLDR: I am still in love with my ex and can't get him out of my head. Share Add a Comment. For me I began realizing that starting my business and employing people gave me immense satisfaction. I’ve gotten back into lifting, lost 15lbs so far. I have a whole future ahead of me with someone for me waiting there. Mind you we were in college and still are …but idk I think about him all the time . I was his first girlfriend . Reality is we will never know what our exes are thinking. I don't feel sad anymore, I've been with other women and have been living a good life in general, but I still think about her everyday and feel like I really love her. We haven’t talked since. 5 years. Life is too short to be worried about someone else’s thoughts about you. Sort by: SaggyCaptain. 2. You help reduce and eventually stop the cycle, by filling your life with areas that make you happy. To this day I haven’t dated another woman. PSA: To all DUMPEES, yes your EX will still miss you (in some way) Hi all, This is your friendly reminder that focusses on what the DUMPER goes through and how, no matter what they say—they will still miss you even though they had it in them to end things. Plus, most of my memories with my ex aren’t happy, I just hate what my ex has done to my confidence/mentality/etc. Letting out your emotions is a real thing; likewise, keeping them pent up will harm you negatively. We were together over two years and she moved in with me pretty much immediately so it was full on. Ive been with my partner for 10 years now and i still miss my ex on occassion. Yes normal u will just wake up one day and see his name and it will be like anybody elses. This comment I resonate with most to be honest. Stop thinking about her. It is hard to get out of the mindset that you have spent so long doing (e. But why do I still miss him a lot. Find something that you like doing, something to occupy your mind and keep you busy. I told my family how I felt about it but left it up to them. Mrs_Naive_. We were fighting a lot. Took me years to get that feeling to go away with one ex. I dont think they really go away. g. Her and her mom were trying to call me all through the night and early morning, but I fell asleep on my phone. It's been 3 years. Still think of him every day, many times a day. It’s an aspect of yourself that won’t let go of them, even if most of your mind is made up. Covid has made life difficult to connect with new people and my dilemma is after that time I realize that a need of mine is to have someone, meaning him, to talk to. I really think you’re right, it’s a trauma bond situation. I won't give away any info that people could piece together (not that anyone would go to the trouble), but I'm happily married and would never want to hurt my spouse. Why do I still think about her after 1 year? Godamn. I can’t help it. My therapist asked me if I missed them or I missed the connection. After the letter, I didn't try to reach out to him again because I wanted to protect my own feeling. I noticed that my ex would still contact my family. Once in a while we would talk on social media and reminisce about the things we used to do. Every day. He made everything seem like it was my fault. It's completely normal to still think about your ex after almost a year, especially since she was your first love and you were involved with her for such a long time. Me and my ex ex broke up 2 years ago. Over time, and quickly, you’ll stop thinking about he ex. Your relationship with him broke down because his ex’s were a bit infatuated with him, I don’t think it’s a good idea to open yourself up to be another one of those with him after the fact, he obviously knows well how to play that part and reopen intimacy. They maybe hurt you deeply. Despite what happened between us, I want him to be happy and have a good life. Your exes opinions only matter bc you have given them weight. Doesn't make the pain better but realising their human too and have their own demons they're fighting or time in which they learn things. It’s was really easy to trust her and I’ve never been more comfortable with a person. The thought is almost intrusive at this point. Hey reddit, throwaway and the title should say 5 months, not 6 fyi. I was dumped btw. At this point, I’ve accepted that it’s just part of my new reality. I am past the point of feeling any kind of sadness or regret for my ex, but now I just hate her with ADMIN MOD. 370 votes, 73 comments. I “miss” my ex more when I’m feeling a little lonely or having a vulnerable moment. He is so amazing and helpful and kind and patient with me. When enough time passes you forget the bad stuff - "faded effect bias". "Ex, I chose to forgive you from the bottom of my heart for. If they, for instance, spun the wheel and got food every time, they’d soon lose interest. If this is how he was to me, why do i still think about him? ADMIN MOD. So go hangout with people who maje you laugh and smile in your life, go find a new hobby, go to the gym and get in shape Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and imagine yourself sitting beside a gently flowing stream with leaves floating along the surface of the water. It's not always followed by feeling sad. We re not all at the same stage. Give yourself a break, you’re doing just fine <3 It's hard to wallow when you've set yourself to concrete goals and are reaching them on a regular basis. I never expected that after 6 months, I I definitely don’t think you should contact him. For those who are dreaming about their exes. He said he's happier when he's with me and I feel the same way too. It’s been a year and a half and I still love her. Of course, there can be sweet little things you miss about them. Conflicted. Pretty much self explanatory. I got so lucky meeting him, so I just need to know if it’s normal to still think about your ex so often even years after breaking up. bleedingcutely • 8 days ago. I think it’s fairly obvious if a woman asks a man “you still in love with that ex of yours” if the guy responded with “yes I totally am” then it’d turn into Defcon 5. so I'm never gonna see my ex again. I still have major trauma from a breakup over a year ago. You're possibly just his rebound. Don’t be rude & don’t be petty. 1. You won't know unless you ask. I know I can't. leadingdate. But I still find myself thinking about my ex at least once every other day or so. I got married over 2 years ago and I'm still in love with my ex. If you think your Ex never thinks about you, and has completely forgotten about you, then you're wrong. Stop associating her with a happier you or a more perfect future. Sounds like it's mostly led by you. Since then I dated someone for 1. Still miss him to my core. Observe the thought arriving, being on the leaf, and then floating away downstream. I do love him. Ask if he still wishes he could be with her. And it ranges from me dreaming about us being in a relationship together, as if we never broke up in the first place or dreams about him coming back but I tell him how much he’s hurt me and i tell him everything I feel about the break up and My advice is that any issues you have with your wife aren't related to this ex. Ex’s are never as amazing as we remember them to be. Then set him and yourself free. They say it is to make sure she isn't bashing me. i know I'm being a bit childish here and i got to move on. Don’t ruin your life. 4. But I do remember one day, about 10 years ago, shopping at the mall. Prove to yourself that your life is a happier one without her. I just don't know what I should do. But now i feel drained day in and day out when i'm about to forget and don't think, he is around. With my last gf I was just making money to be good enough for her, but after we broke up, I started thinking about the business I wanted to create. We were the type of couple everyone was sure would last forever. If the answer is no it’s bc neither of you want it enough. Until you intervene and create new habits, it will continue to do so. 0. Even after 6 months, and several months of therapy, I'm still not over my ex. I think of his voice, his face, our memories and what could have been. Welcome to Surviving Infidelity. I responded to him, “okay I understand. I try and keep busy and I’ve been good at not messaging him and keeping up with no contact. Years later I would still find my self thinking about him, despite getting into new relationships. still think about her. My ex broke up with me and to be honest, I still love her to bits and love everything about her but I don’t love how petty shot got after breakup when she was the one who broke up with me. jvictoria0107. And you’ll enjoy life as you really should. They're on you, and partially your wife (but only if you communicate and act as partners in life). I did block him for a little when taking space. And this guy literally during an argument told me ' this is why you don't have any friends. ago. pamcakestack. I'm tired of passionless sex with strangers on the off chance that it will help me heal. There's so much more. Recently, when I was single and I noticed that he was also single, I messaged him to tell him that I wasn’t happy with the way things played out between the 2 of us. Glad to know we’re not alone in being alone in these thoughts. I was crazy about my ex honestly. so I'm curious does she do the same by any circumstances. ) One of you needs to step up and break it off. This means facebook, contact info, and maybe even mutual friends. Hey, I feel you. Personally that wouldn't fly with me and I'd probably leave. Just stop reaching out. I’m pretty sure I’m just remembering the good things and none of the reasons I wanted to break up in the first place. A fun memory we had together, something funny she said, something we laughed so hard about. I don't try to stop thinking about her. Ask if he's actually into you. Don’t go out of your way to talk to her and don’t go out of your way to avoid her. In all seriousness though, my ex was the kindest, most affectionate and sweetest person in my life. And, it’s my guilt that’s clinging onto him. Dec 6, 2023 ยท An idle mind is especially damaging to a broken heart. My husband doesn't care about his exes, they are that for a reason. I’m here and she just took my happiness with her. Healthy-Dig1226. I made her think we were getting robbed, and that the robber took my phone, killed me, and made her think she'd never see me again. This happened to me too. If you're here, it's because you are surviving, or have survived, infidelity in a relationship that you thought was life-long. Something will make them think of you, even if it’s just for a moment. My ex and I broke up about 6 months ago — we dated for 5. I met my ex 4 years ago and we dated long distance for awhile until we made a… In short, yes: I got over her. Do not get back together with Be cool and focus on what’s in your control, not what she’s doing. So it’s why your brain keeps reminding you of your ex, to get the dopamine hits. I think about her several times a day and is really draining. It’s been over and I’ve been fine. You think they were perfect and no one is maheen921. Focus on what makes you happy, and don't worry about her. ”. You don't have to totally let go of each other but you both have to I think we’re doing fine. I’ve never really been on my own before, I’ve jumped relationship to relationship so I think I may just be struggling with being alone and I miss having SOMEONE not necessarily having her. He cheated with a coworker and broke it off with me not long afterwards. I really wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. Mainly bc we're no contact now. I've never felt as close to anyone as I did to him. All the time. She's who I love and she knows it. Every time your kind drifts to the good times think of something else - like a nail in a tire. I just don’t really understand why we’re still so close. It will be random times throughout the day when I think about her. If you can't stop thinking about your ex, then perhaps you should talk to her if she's been wanting to talk to you. It’s not really them. READ THIS IF YOU STILL THINK YOUR EX WAS THE ONE! Im here to tell you that first of all: they are not. I’ve started cooking again, drinking 1 day a week, smoking less, trying to find a better job and I just feel empty. It might give you a better perspective on the past. Dang though, what I wouldn't give to hear " I do think of you often, I do miss you, I am sorry for the way this has hurt you, and I miss talking to you". Its so annoying, because I just want to move on and forget about him. Most times it's more like swatting away a fly or something; one second she's on my 6 months for me, been complete NC on both ends aside from him drunk texting a few times with “I miss you” and asking to see me. As bad as things were and as negative as I felt being with this girl - I still find myself thinking about her almost everyday in some form. ADMIN MOD. He's engaged now and is about to get married soon. Perhaps because your mind got so fucked up after enduring so many shitty stuff, it finds it’s not worth it to meet somebody new because it can’t take the risk of enduring that again, so it makes you feel you miss your ex and not overcome your past relationship enough so as to prevent you from taking the risk of Ultimately in the end I changed my life for the better, lost 60 pounds, got in amazing shape, and I am now a mma fighter. It took me a long time to realize it had everything to do with him and nothing to do with me. ” CONSTANTLY. And when my current relationships are bad or nonexistent I obsess about him, dream about him. I am pretty new to reddit so I don't know any of the rules, and I am also on mobile. Don't warn him or announce it with gushing goodbyes just wake up to reality and back off. ' He used to disregard all my problems and act like he was the only one going through stuff. I am doing things to keep myself from thinking about him, but every now and then, he just pops into my mind and I don't know what to do. What he did to me towards the end of the relationship was horrible, even our mutual friends said that it was very out of his character. Going from an unhappy relationship to one that is fueled with love and positivity is jarring to the brain. I think it depends of how your past relationship was, if you for ex. I thought I'd be completly over her by now. Not about your ex. And let’s be real. This sub is NSFW and Adults Only… tas241. I'm sorry you're hurting. So it's a bit grey area, but I believe today might mark the day my relationship ended with my ex We were together 7 years. . Award. It's not normal to have them constantly, or to let them interfere with your day to day life. Giving you that need for a dopamine hit. gave a lot to him and he never gave you something back then yeah it’s normal because naturally you want to be rewarded for the work you put on the relationship. But it’s so exhausting. Please bear with me. I can only control myself. . I still love him so much, and nothing seems to be changing. When you love someone, you love them. I used to have panic attacks if I saw a picture of a particular ex. It might feel hard to do, but sometimes you fixate on the past because you're scared you might not find that again with someone else. After dark. It has been two months since I broke up with my ex. I think it’s caused by some kind of trauma a breakup gives. Hi all, I genuinely am quite concerned that I still think about my ex-gf everyday. My ex DA boyfriend of 9 months texted me and said “I need a break, ur giving me anxiety. r/survivinginfidelity. 23 Male here. Then whenever you find yourself thinking about the ex, laugh a little , don’t judge yourself , and just pull out the list and start on any item on the list. Block your ex on absolutely everything and don't wait for her to reach out, because she won't. You’re having a midlife crisis, dude. I had been quite certain that I didn’t want to get back with him for the 3 years after, it’s only since January this year that he’s been appearing in my thoughts of romance, maybe they’re intrusive thoughts idk. It’s perfectly normal to miss your ex. Dude ok so just because you told her that you would move on that doesn't mean that you actually will. This is a support sub, a safe place to ask for advice and guidance. 2 years later. 25 years and that’s over now. Like, the emotions just become to much and we don’t know how to handle them. I've been on plenty of dates, but the people I've met just don't compare. • 3 yr. Sometimes though it's not enough to jsut let it all out, there could be some belief in us that is causing that pain to come out over and over. For context we broke up 3 years ago and we were together for 4 years. •. For each thought that comes concerning your ex, place it on a leaf and let it float by. My ex of almost a year broke up with me and I still miss her. Put all your pictures, notes, etc. Until last week, I only had a few dreams (or rather nightmares) immediately after the breakup, but the last week or so, I’ve had a vivid dream every night. It's natural, for me at least, to want him to do good in life. 6. I have a current boyfriend of 2 years now that I can see myself marrying, and he truly is my best friend aside from being my partner. Well. true. But despite my efforts to stop it she is on my mind every single day. The past 3 years we would secretly see each other at least once a year. Cut all contact with him immediately. The last time I went on vacation was 2 years ago with my ex ex and I’m on vacation right now and I can’t stop thinking about her. r/askredditafterdark is a place to ask reddit. Is it normal to still think about an ex everyday most of the time . First and foremost, if you were in a long term relationship north of 6 ADMIN MOD. It will change your life. Just ask him. I know that moving on isn't easy, and I've been acknowledging my feelings and emotions, letting myself feel sad and cry if I feel like it. 967K subscribers in the AskRedditAfterDark community. thinking about him), but if you keep yourself busy, slowly and steadily you will think of him less, until you don't think about him anymore. After two years I think the next step is to start talking to new people. I’m so focused on my path with fighting I could really care less about a girl. We did have that conversation and I sort of have closure but I still obsess a lot with things I'd like to say to him, mostly because I haven't fully let go yet and I still hope he'll come back and we'll have the chance to have all these conversations I'm playing out in my mind. An ex gets in touch and then disappears (or comes up with the same BS) again because they’ve confirmed you’re still reachable and interested. Even after we broke up 3 years ago I still think of her everyday. Your ex will still think of you. Contacting your ex behind your husband back is waaaay more disrespectful than sharing your feelings. Us guys like to bottle our emotions, and most never reveal our true emotions. It's a hard choice for me to leave that job now but maybe soon i'll get another one and leave. I believe is healthy to do so, so long as you dont DWELL on the past. He still comes to me if he's ever truly in trouble but seeing him do good (working, therapy etc) makes me happy. Ik I won't ever see that version again. The one that got away. If you see her, it’s going to do absolutely no good for either of you. I still think about my ex every day. I’m still processing it and I think about her everyday. Sometimes I even think about getting back together. Maybe they love you deeply, but also they know that they aren't capable or ready to be a good partner. Still think about ex 10 years later. Disclaimers: This is a throwaway for obvious reasons. I posted a picture of a friend and I on a girls weekend out. The fact that you guys broke up doesn’t mean you don’t love each other (excluding domestic abuse). Reply. I would read some John Gottman, if I were you. There's a reason why we feel lighter after letting it all out. It’s the randomising of when and if they get the food that makes it exciting. Eventually you’ll get to that point where you don’t hate them anymore. " And so on. An ex is a part of your personal history. 18. Give her a heads up, “If you don’t come get your stuff by X, I’m going to throw it out/donate it” and if she doesn’t come get it, do exactly that. Choose one. They will likely wonder how you are. We were perfect together. Every time. However, if you keep busy, the time will pass, the day will move quicker, and the emotions will go along as well. My second ex is a friend still, that relationship is mostly happy memories for me. Emotionally prepare yourself, because unless it's anything short of an apology for being an incredibly shitty person it's not worth your time to listen to her. " ""Ex, I chose to forgive you from the bottom of my heart for. Reply reply. I don't really feel guilt over it, because I He moved away. The past and future should always be in your thoughts, but always remember to LIVE in the present. I had assisted him in purchasing a home, being a mother to his kid and basically counseling him through his issues while bankrolling our lives. And i don't know why sometimes i feel anxious or sad when i have to see him everyday. I broke up with him after 3 years. I even dream about him. You broke up for a reason. I've got my own business, a wide variety of friends and hobbies including cars and fitness so surely I 3. Him from being the object of your bitterness and yourself from bitterness itself. Instead I focus on other things like life goals, reading, exercise, a hoobby or project. You can do this! ADMIN MOD. Now after 7 years divorce, contact is mostly just commenting on Facebook posts. I get it, I’ve been there, very recently too: they broke up with you and you still feel like they are the one, that they are irreplaceable and you’ll never find someone like them again. Burn anything you still have of his, or things he gave you. Find appreciation in other hobbies and relationship. If these feelings continue then be honest with your wife, but for the loved of God, make it about her and you. You’ll cheat if he’s also down. Although keeping busy is important, Lira de la Rosa Thank you I appreciate that you can relate a little. Get therapy if you can. At the very least you become neutral about them, and at the very best you feel sentimental about the good times. Allow yourself to be indifferent to her, because it’s no longer about her anymore, it’s about taking care of you. They value you so much and have respect and wish you the best. It makes me think more about her. It’s not good to dwell on one, but it’s not good to totally forget one either. I'm 18 years old and I'm graduating this year. Those are just my thoughts, I'm no I'm sorta just typing this here to get it out of my head, feel free to ignore the sob story. Ask him what you mean to him. For me personally: yes, the feelings disappear. I keep dreaming about my ex. Not going to lie talking to an ex every single day is very unusual. Work out, work hard, and don't say no to any invitations. but I miss the good things we used to do sometimes that I don’t do in my current relationship. If that's how your Ex ticks, this might be unhealthy. Your emotions are still running hot, they’ve gone cold, but they don’t feel like an asshole anymore because they said “we can still be friends” and in their mind if you accept the friendship that absolves them of any further responsibility so to speak. I still often think of my ex even after all this time. I've never been so in love as I was when I started dating him. I can promise you no one else cares what ur ex thinks. Even 3 days before she broke up with me (we were long distance), she told me that us visiting is really worth it and it’ll be amazing One of you will eventually move on or find yourselves in a new relationship and once that happens, the loser gets to regress back to day 1 of the breakup and start all over again. The relationship wasn’t perfect, but he was perfect for me. Everyone needs a nightly affirmation before they go to bed, “They’re gone, but I’ll be ok. We can tell ourselves whatever we want but that doesn't necessarily make it so, you're trying to convince yourself that you're ready to move on but you're not. I can’t force myself to not think of him. Always make sure you ask yourself why you miss them though. Mine blocked me and it drove me insane. People who have no romantic feelings for someone don't normally describe them as being "perfect for me". is anyone We still maintain a friendship and text almost daily; our cell phones are still on the same plan together; all of her possessions are in my storage unit for safekeeping until she starts her new job out of state in June; I could go on, there’s a bunch more. But stop stalking them because that won’t make it easier for you to move on. (Trust me, I've been there before as the loser. If he reaches out, fine, but if he doesn't want anything romantic you'd be wise to send him on his way. We got together 2 summers ago but he broke up with me we got back together and than I broke up with him . I’ve experienced, I still think of that ex a lot. She was my first love, first serious relationship and I remember being so sure about her even in our first month together. I moved out west, fell in love with other women, lived with a few, banged many more. I don't really feel anything when I think about my first ex, except maybe 'huh oh yeah that guy, I wonder how he's doing'. You are cyberstalking him and if the roles were reversed, you would think this person is strange, pathetic, and possibly, a predator. Time is your friend. With that said, if you can passively have people DM’ing you constantly and being thirsty, it’s easy to see why certain people move on so fast. And I still think about him everyday. I missed my ex for such a long time, even though he was a shithead to me. 90% of rebounds don’t last. He was an important person in my life, but I just don't want tot think about him every single day. Every single night without fail, my ex appears in my dreams. Tip from me: remove all pics n video’s with him and unfollow him so u don’t have to see anything of him anymore. Don’t chase. If you're sitting at home thinking of your ex and all of the memories you've shared, you are setting yourself up for failure. You need to acknowledge that not only what you’re doing is obsessive, it is creepy. • 2 yr. I made friends that helped me rediscover my creative We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. A relationship that only lasted a little over a year still has me thinking about her almost a year after it ended for good. I enjoy talking to my ex, we’ve been in regular contact ever since we broke up back in February and have planned to hang out several times but been held back by illness, sudden family situations etc. in a box away in the attic. I psychologically bullied my ex, we will call her Savannah. Sometimes it feels like we still talk like we’re together. Find small moments of meaning. ” The day before I had sent some videos about the avoidant/anxious dance because I felt it was our only issue that was just escalating. But you can and will, if you try. It was the connection. I’ll be honest with you. PunkyBeanster. I moved towns after a bad break up just to get away from them. Just keep yourself in check and don't let those emotions affect making good decisions (such as staying out of contact with your ex). He apologized for his part and agreed. AsheGuade. Do you think I handled this incorrectly (I’m FA). With your most recent ex they're going to think of you more often because you're still in their recent memories. She stayed in my mind for quite a few years, but as we both got on in life, she faded. They offer friendship as a peace offering. I follow no contact strictly. I walked past the fragrance section and BAM. My ex cheated and still gets the great life while I’m struggling. Riverrat423. Ask politely if she can have a friend or family member come get it. hu mx yn dz vv vd xq qt aj xe