My boyfriend is less attractive than me

[new] I have been with my boyfriend for seven years now. The attention is directed from other women to him, not vice versa. It started as more of a physical relationship but grew from there. provided by iStock. Attraction is much, much more complex than simple visual appearance. May 6, 2020 · NBC. true. I could not bring myself to kiss him, or be intimate with him at all for that matter. But the fact that he does not find me attractive anymore hurts. ago. Obviously. Both asian parents on both sides thought I was a bad fit. He's Your good looking boyfriend doesn’t want to hear about how bad and unworthy you are. It was clear from the beginning I was not attracted to him. I honestly think I started out way more attractive than him for the first few years, then we sort of met in the middle for a year, but he overtook me by a mile for the last few and I like it less. When we’re attracted to how someone looks, we can overlook their personality. He said “he's literally the hottest person I've ever been with” when his friend asked did he think I was attractive, he said “she's a pretty girl, but (Ex) is definitely more attractive than her or anyone else I've dated. Focus on May 9, 2010 · The answer is obvious, but not surprising or satisfying: Suck it up and make the best out of the situation. He wants to hear that you not only love him, but that you love yourself. 42. If you love someone, they become the most attractive person to you. I would rather be with my SO than anyone else in the world. Mind your attitude. We are very much in love, but I am still scared he may leave one day. Lack of Affection. No, actually I am quite sure he wouldn't. And while I recognize that Colin Firth is objectively more attractive that my SO, he is not more attractive to me. Be honest with him but let him know that you think he’s hot from time to time. Looking fit and healthy makes us more attractive as a romantic partner. It's starting to wear on me. Mar 27, 2024 · In many cases, someone can be loving, kind, and gentle in every way, and their boyfriend might cheat regardless. I am not settling for him because I don't think I can do better. Seth Meyers - March 18, 2015. Shed your unrealistic vision of the ideal mate. Tbh there is nothing YOU can do other than tell your boyfriend this is putting a strain on your relationship. I just sort of pretend it's not there, like with most of my problems (I know, a highly healthy mindset) Jan 16, 2018 · The Ugly Truth I’ve Realized From Dating A Man Who Makes Less Money Than Me. This is what any long term relationship needs - an attraction that isn’t shallow. I’m sure this has happened before, most things have, but I really doubt your ex would go to that much trouble just to offend you! 4. My boyfriend just told me that he thinks my sister is hotter than me, what do I do? My younger sister by one year is more attractive than me, and I am aware of that. 1. I was in great shape and had a more symmetrical face. I really love how beautiful he has become, I just feel bad for not keeping up. But he acts as if I'm gorgeous, so I never feel insecure about it. I'm a smaller girl, my boyfriend is a big guy, balding, basically not what you'd consider traditionally "handsome" from and objective standpoint. Potential causes and triggers for feeling unwanted may include any of the following: Insecurity. We had no access to finances, couldn’t apply for credit cards, couldn’t own property. Some girls gain more than that in monthly bloating, I just don't believe he's honestly not attracted to you. Unhappiness in the relationship. Not only that, but someone who doesn’t love themselves usually don’t make for a great life partner. Just really rock his world in the bedroom and he won't need or want to cheat. Jan 13, 2024 · Here are 10 ways to deal with the situation and not let it cloud your amazing relationship. Tldr - I'm (35M) dating someone who is younger and much more attractive than me (21M). , a refusal to make heartfelt apologies). However, to me he is the sexiest man on the freaking planet. For sapiosexuals, intelligence appears to be the most powerful driver of sexual attraction, and for But on a serious note, IRL my boyfriend is amazing. Meeting halfway is not giving Then he said, “she has a thicker body than your ex”. Mar 8, 2019 · People's judgments of their partners' faithfulness predicted their anger and how critical, selfish, and cold they were in their interactions with their partners. He said he won't waste his time talking to someone less intelligent than him. Plus, he sees more in you than just looks. Even if there are other more physically attractive women out there, you're the one he wants to be with, not them. Go talk to your friends and get a ride home. Talking about it can be frustrating because he may not 959 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. Overall, try being there for him. I met my bf online and we have been dating for around 6 months. g. It can make you afraid that the new person is better not just physically, but also intellectually Me (F22) and my boyfriend (M23) have been together for 4 years now and things are generally going okay, but for the last 6 months or so, things have been going down hill. Tell him how you feel. Letting him know that you think he is sexy can make him feel better about himself. Like a 5/10. And a commitment to your significant other, if you have one. Maybe you don’t have Hollywood good looks God bless. Explain that it doesn't matter to you, and anyone who thinks he is inferior-their opinion does not matter. The only problem is, I got the impression that he wasn't really attracted physically at first. Im pretty average-looking, I think. Confidence is attractive. Sidenote: It sounds like he's aesthetically attracted to you, but not sexually attracted, too - which is not in any way your fault or about how you look. Someone can be attractive because of their mind, their attitude, their skills, their kindness and empathy, their humility Mar 18, 2015 · When His Ex is Prettier Than You. Less attractive according to you. This can make him feel less worried about being short because he can then know that you find him attractive and that his Feb 17, 2024 · Feb 17, 2024, 7:55 AM PST. I have very, very low self esteem, depression, and other problems. The amount of money you make does not define you. Jun 29, 2022 · Be on the lookout for these key signs of immaturity: An inability to communicate kindly, honestly, and effectively. Jul 23, 2021 · As dating and relationship coach, Rosalind Sedacca, CLC, tells Bustle, “A respectful relationship encourages acceptance, forgiveness, overlooking the little things, seeing the best in your But on a serious note, IRL my boyfriend is amazing. I love you guys, seriously. I know there are so many beautiful girls out there but telling me the one of my closest friends is nicer looking than me kind of made me feel a bit sad. I don't know what it is about younger guys, but their egos seems to be more of an issue than guys my age. My BF responds with, “Thats for sure. Try to understand the origins or the cause behind the lack of attraction. Archived post. So I guess even if I want to trust my now boyfriend, it's a bit difficult to feel sexy sometimes. He has done nothing to make me doubt him, but I still don't believe his compliments. He told me that he thinks this girl from his school could be more attractive than me or as attractive as me. A partner's loss of libido can make you question your relationship. A few weeks ago my (21F) boyfriend (21M) told me he is less attracted to me because I have gained weight in quarantine God bless. He has a lot of social anxiety and because of this, we are the complete opposites - him an introvert, me an extrovert. 3. I need you to respect our love. peppermind. Relationships. Infidelity impacts areas of a person's life that can cause serious internal pain and self-doubt. And she left me as she was unhappy. TL;DR Insecure because my boyfriend I do worry - my ex wad also leaner than me and he pointed out when we were breaking up that he no longer found me attractive because I was too fat. Finding out that your ex got back into the dating scene can be shocking and worrying. Feb 27, 2018 · A commitment to showing up to work — even when you're hungover. “…the person that my boyfriend cheated on me with is much less attractive than me. Since we go to different colleges we've been long distance for the last 2. Understandably, the longer you go on, the less people you see as things are getting serious. I was extremely attracted to his personality though, which is why I started dating him. I wouldn't worry about it or ask too soon. It doesn't matter that he said you're "prettier on the inside. " It's On top of that, the sex is incredible. I've never been beautiful, I'm just average looking. Remember, the cause may be physical or emotional. Back in “the good old days,” men were the breadwinners, and we ladies were nice-to-have arm candy, reproductive systems, and homemakers. (2015) shows an The reason he is my almost-bf is because the relationship is currently long distance. While she loved dating a more mature man, she felt anxious about I found my boyfriend online, and he's the best person imaginable. He loves me the way I love him. When someone says that they have a fear of commitment, they're often Jun 9, 2016 · Positive illusions might mean you’re more committed to your partner. Award. Try not to be so petty and see how much life gets better. Jan 4, 2019 · Proper sleep, wholesome nutrition, and physical activity will help keep your body and mind healthy, so you can harness your relationship anxiety most effectively. He was my first everything. No one has ever claimed anxiety is a picnic, and feeling scared and confused can be deeply unsettling. Because I don't want him to be ridiculized by being with someone less attractive than him. When you say "pretty guy" I think of Ashton Kutcher circa That 70s show in that it was attractive, but vaguely feminine somehow Breaking things off without giving him the chance to accommodate for your needs is basically blindsiding him. Although most research shows that we tend to date others who we perceive as similar to us in physical attractiveness, recent research by Hunt et al. It made me sad, but I let it go. I would suggest therapy (couple and individual), but I would also suggest not settling for someone who makes you feel terrible about yourself. Firstly, it will give you a chance to express what you’re going through. It lets you get to know them. 4. 6. Then if he My boyfriend (23) and I (21, female) have been dating for 10 months. They dig themselves into ruts that the good looking Jul 27, 2021 · In addition, Jory says to try and remember that you and your partner once had a connection, even if it feels like it's gone now. I feel terrible for letting my emotions affect my relationship. He has told me this and we have discussed this. We have a great relationship, and he accepts me as I am. Aug 9, 2022 · There could be a deeper meaning, or root cause, to reflect on and locate within yourself that has nothing to do with your partner and everything to do with you. 5 years and get by on weekly skype calls, some text messages, and occasional visits in the summers and such. Literally, no exaggeration, that's how I see him. I have been struggling to loose weight for a while (I'm not overweight but want to improve my self esteem) and my boyfriend has always been really supportive. His mistake is the more obvious one: It is deeply fucked that your boyfriend said his ex is more attractive than you. wandrlusty • 2 yr. I know he's used to dating women who are much more conventionally attractive than me and has never had a problem getting girls to be interested in him while I rarely attract male attention. Note that these negative behaviors Mar 30, 2024 · Sometimes short men can feel less desirable than taller men. My boyfriend had a normal childhood, and he's had 3 - 4 girlfriends before me. So that's a nice anecdotal counter to your concern. It’s not uncommon for a guy who is less attractive than his girlfriend to suffer from self-esteem issues. He's very affectionate, and loves to hold my hand and kiss me when we are out. Apr 23, 2024 · By dating someone you’re not physically attracted to, you’re likely to feel a lot less pressure to ‘perform’ and you can just be yourself and chill. No one is that obtuse to pretend otherwise when they say such things. Made me very insecure and honestly if it becomes a habit just know it is pretty toxic behavior and not sustainable. I think some insecure women would not want to date guys that are more attractive than them just because they want to be the most attractive in the relationship. Jan 1, 2020 · Key points. Your Boyfriend May Suffer from Self-Esteem Issues. Being with him has made me worry less about my insecurities and focus more on the person I’m with and how I can be better to him and others as well. He’ll be attractive to me when we’re 80. May 19, 2021 · 1. Unlike any other man I have ever met in my life other than my father. Would make comments all the time about how attractive other girls were. It's likely not your body, it could easily be a death in the family, an existential crisis, or something else of his in his more personal life he's just not telling you about. We have many of the same interests and all the same goals for the future and have talked about getting married. Cheating can lead to hurt feelings, divorce, and sometimes even aggressive and dangerous acts of revenge. We can have tough conversations. Imho. One said I looked like my boyfriend's domestic helper. ADMIN MOD. It's tragic, but if you find it too hard to leave the relationship, and you cannot fix 3. We've been very open about the guys we've been seeing. " I think if I wanted X, I should leave my boyfriend and go date X. A lack of attraction with little to no sex may be bad enough, but many couples stuck in sexless partnerships often To me, it just sounds like you're sexually incompatible. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Weight does affect how much our partners want to have sex with us. Once your budding wife beater remembers his big boy words and is ready to talk, tell him off for his horrid behavior, from a safe distance. Because of how attentive my boyfriend is, it makes me also want to be more thoughtful and do nice things for him too. I felt SO awful breaking up with him, but it was just NOT going to work. My boyfriend doesn’t find me attractive anymore. A lack of emotional regulation, such as being hot-tempered or prone to tantrums. Yes, there are more attractive people than your gf. (Some were not serious. Its not gonna make a difference in your looks. They watch tv and movies and can see that actors are good looking. If something feels off, it's probably off. Also, shut this down early. My boyfriend (20M) is better than me at everything (20F) and it's making me upset. Like They Chose Them to Try and Offend You. • 5 yr. Then he says something about how I’m just a “basic white girl” and they all laugh. I have been complimented by a few about how good my facial features are. ”. It doesn’t mean you don’t love her or think she is beautiful. If your partner has become physically unattractive to you, you can retrain your mind to see them in a more attractive light. I am trying to lose weight because I myself am not used to being this big (I was always skinny then gained 30-40 pounds over the past two years. 12. Embrace Your Charms. He's not excited about your fantasies, he isn't into foreplay, and he doesn't make you feel desired. Because you sound like an ass. Oct 31, 2022 · Try to work out the cause. Oct 4, 2018 · He makes me want to be a better person. If he knows this is a delicate issue with you, he should try not to do it and you should try not to judge yourself so harshly that you crumble whenever he says someone else is pretty. He is a very good looking guy and is aware of it, but thinks that I specifically do not find him particularly attractive (he has gone as far as saying that of all the girls he’s been with Im the one he feels is the least attracted to him). I asked him then why did he started talking to me and he said "you know sex". I’ve noticed my partner has been complimenting me less, and is less interested in sex. Apr 23, 2014 · 'Even my father thought he would cheat on me': The sheer hell of living with a man who is more attractive than you. The reason he is my almost-bf is because the relationship is currently long distance. Sexual rejection hurts, and it’s easy to take personally. Everything that makes you unique is something worth celebrating. (Ex: "I feel like you're not attracted to me, especially when you do / say X, and that really hurts. Being someone's "everything" may seem romantic. My heart absolutely shattered after He said that you're *more* attractive than *most* people, which means that he does think your looks are above average. So I don't know why, does he thinks he wants someone hotter Recently when we were talking something about IQ came up. Other factors like the pandemic and antidepressants might have contributed too. Update: Thank you to everyone for your comments, they gave me a lot to think about and if my partner can't improve along with me I may have to consider leaving him, but I commented underneath what exactly happened. Let me say from the start that I feel your pain. To me, because I deeply love my partner, every part of him is attractive to me, no matter what changes he goes through. I need you to respect that my boyfriend is, in fact, in love with me. Aug 1, 2016 · Top 10 Strategies for Self-Enhancement: A Worldwide Study. They think compromising and losing are the same thing. It's like even if someone found their ex to be the most attractive person, if they're over them, it's like a beautiful nothing without feeling of attractiveness. I'm not what people consider attractive in the modern sense. killerbekilled92. An unwillingness to take personal responsibility (e. I think I'm much less attractive than my boyfriend. Your boyfriend or girlfriend should be the most beautiful to you because they are the person you choose to give your heart to. 399 opinions shared on Other topic. Apr 21, 2023 · It sounds like the man you are dating has given you no reason to worry about the female attention he receives. His friend said “agree, [ex’s name] is way hotter. Instead of focusing too much on how gorgeous your partner is, stop and take in your positive traits. That's a really sweet thing to say! 3. My BF responded “I like skinny girls better though. When you become more mature you realize that your partner has eyes. Try to identify what caused this feeling the first time and pay attention to what triggers it when you’re with your partner, so you can work through it if possible. Hilary Freeman, 42, says a handsome boyfriend comes with problems; Says their Sapiosexuality refers to being sexually attracted to someone because of their intelligence. Put him in a room with Channing goddamn Tatum and I'd pick my boyfriend every single time. (Do what you want, but what I'd do is just wait maybe a week and if he's still like this, ask if he's attracted. While your life is drowning in disbelief and bitterness because your less attractive friends get more attention than you, your ugly friends are having fun and living life freely. Apr 23, 2004 · But the fact is, People Who Stare at My Boyfriend Because He Is More Attractive Than Me, your disapproving and disbelieving looks cruelly mock my boyfriend’s affection for me. But if your partner came into the relationship with a few friends and hobbies, and have integrated Most of the time he is a solid 10 in my eyes. I know that's not fool proof but I don't know the ins and outs. ) My boyfriend (30M) readily agreed a while back that one of his friends was more attractive than me (28F) in the eyes of most. He is pretty serious about me, as I am about him. by Dr. TL;DR: Boyfriend finds friend's gf more attractive than me, I am very insecure about this and wish he wouldn't see another woman as being more physically attractive than me. Secondly, it will give your partner a chance to share their perspective on the situation. Researchers theorize that part of the reason we embrace positive illusions is because they carry us through inevitable Jul 10, 2023 · He is a narcissist. He may feel like he’s not good enough for you, or that he has to try harder to keep you interested. You partner may not fully appreciate what you’re feeling - especially if you haven’t told them, or you haven’t sat down together to have a proper mutual conversation. Whenever girls hit on him, which is all the time, he'll tell me all about what they said and we'll just laugh about it together. ") Try to have a calm, mature conversation without getting too emotional - explain what "triggers" your suspicions, and how they make you feel. I feel very insecure about myself now. Feb 14, 2017 · 10. For some reason, he is rehashing it and he thinks it’s silly that it makes me so sad. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! My boyfriend is more attractive than me. Me (21/F) and my boyfriend (22) have been dating for almost a year and he has been struggling with believing I find him handsome. Less pressure can also help you overcome any dating anxiety you might have. Patterns of incongruent goals, values, or messages to I just want my boyfriend to find me attractive again and don't know what else to do. Jun 7, 2016 · An Exception to the Rule. Even if you happen to be the most well-rounded, well-adjusted catch in the world, the reality is that I listened and my boyfriend started saying how his ex was the most attractive person he's dated. Hi my last partner was much less attractive than me. Similar to having your ego hurt, you might also think they are dating someone uglier than you just to try and offend you. You Are "Everything" To Your Partner. It's an insecurity thing. I do not know how to feel about him not finding me attractive anymore. They are more than just a person but also your best mate and that should make someone the most attractive in your eyes for being that person. He tells me he loves me and wants to spend his life with me but I can't escape the thought But no, it's not very normal to find ones ex more attractive than their so. He is just getting his degree now at 29 (nothing wrong with Mar 5, 2018 · My Ex Is Dating Someone More Attractive Than Me. Narcissists love it when they know that they are the cause of someone’s pain, as bad as it sounds it makes them feel superior. They see and interact with other people. Finding someone else pretty (or even prettier) is different from pointing out your looks in a negative way or comparing you. This can lead to him becoming controlling or jealous, and it can be a real problem Sep 18, 2021 · Key points. I never compare my boyfriend, sometimes I wish his tummy was a little smaller and his beard grew in better, but it's never "I want him to look like x. "One way to regain affection is to focus on the positive," he If you're 5 pounds away from your pre pregnancy weight then that should barely be noticeable. If we weren’t married off to a We've been dating over a year, and have known each other for 4. He's a perfect example of tall, dark, and handsome. I'm sure your friends are waiting to have you back without the angry dead weight. Dating someone seriously and simultaneously knowing that his ex was prettier than you can make you feel, well, pretty low. I'd say it's pretty obvious we are a couple. I'm not treating him as well as I should because of my insecurity and I want to do better. But when you learn that your ex is dating someone more attractive than you, it can also crush your self-esteem. . I can admit that other men are attractive but I am not attracted to them. Jess Lewis, 29, started dating her 56-year-old boyfriend after they met through work. You think your family/friends wouldn’t say something to his face but people make backhanded comments and make faces that they don’t have to say it in many (or even any) words. Its more likely there is another motive behind those comments. My boyfriend and I have been dating 4 years. Keep vetting as if he were any other man, and, as always, listen to your instincts. Loneliness. You should try to focus less on whether other people find him attractive and ask whether you find him attractive. Once you've calmed down, talk to him. You know she is every guys dream (or well almost every guy's dream) She has blonde long hair Told me he was closer to one of my girlfriends than to me and felt like they had more things in common. My sister is a 9/10. If feel like I’ve lost a lot of confidence in myself because of this. After a while, I managed to get it out of him that he does find me less attractive as I’ve put on weight and it means he’s less turned on by me. Stick 8. A relationship should be 50/50 split between you as equal partners, yes, but that doesn't constitute money only. My boyfriend told me that one of my best friends was prettier than me and now I feel myself comparing myself to her. Once you have communicated your needs, if he still isn't making you feel the way you want to, then you might have to accept that he isn't what you're looking for in a guy. Weight does affect who will date us. Jealousy. Jess Lewis. He wants you to be on the edge, constantly thinking of ways to make him happy, his telling you that his ex is prettier is a way to devalue you, and have you begging him for attention. The only thing that needs to change is your boyfriend - what's worse is he has the means to change his insecurity, but won't. He has several health issues with his neck in particular. Jan 26, 2022 · Key points. Somehow a conversation came up when we were talking about if we think other people could be more attractive than eachother. kv zt dd oc zn ob kk vq rc dm